Territorial Studs - Episode 7

Vida is cancelled, exploring labels from Studsband to "Do I even need a label?", advice for someone who has never been to pride and Beyoncé dropping a remix in the middle of our recording. Because of course she would.

Bad Queers is co-hosted by:
Shana Sumers: @shanahasagram
Kris Chesson: @kris.chess

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The opinions expressed during this podcast are conversational in nature and expressed only for comedic purposes. Not all of the facts will be correct but we attempt to be as accurate as possible. BQ Media LLC, the hosts, nor any guest host(s) hold no liability over the conversations on this podcast and by using this podcast you understand that it is solely for entertainment purposes.

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Transcript

spk_1:   0:00
this'd China. And this is Chris,

spk_0:   0:09
and we are bad queers. If you came out of the closet, got put in a box of stereotypes, you don't belong. Teoh has always welcome back to the bad Queers Club.

spk_1:   0:17
Welcome. You guys were gonna jump right into the Queer Urban Dictionary term this week. My term is studs. Been studs been? It's like then you just like it's like like husband Butts does binned wait for this mission. A masculine of dinner. Lesbian? Who is bay or that you were for two as or think of as your the breeder term husband Studs been using the sentence. She better back away from my studs. Been Scotsman Sheena? What is your turtle?

spk_0:   0:53
Okay, uh, my term Queer Oven Dictionary Term of the week is outing, exposing someone's LGBT Q plus identity to others without their permission. This can also be uses outed in a sentence. And that's how I'm going to use it. My co worker was outed to our boss and he ended up quitting because of it.

spk_1:   1:14
Uh huh. Horrible. Yeah, I I just want to

spk_0:   1:19
rewind back to yours because I have never, ever heard of Studs Bend is

spk_1:   1:25
your wife refer to you as a sudden and, uh, no, not actively. But I think that you want to be referred to us husband. No, um, you know, I said it a couple of episodes ago. The diet stud is my kind of my lane there. Stutman is a little a little too strong. Okay, Um, no, but I know it is. Ah, it's a term out there for the kiddos. And, uh, yes, that's that's been that's been That's hilarious. I like. Okay, I'm just gonna way dio you know,

spk_0:   1:59
your wife toe. Try and use that one time and see what happens.

spk_1:   2:02
There's also, um you know, this will probably be defined and in the coming weeks, But, you know, there's Addy out there. They're stati as well, Which is, you know, probably not. It's it's an unwed studs. Been is a stati with the

spk_0:   2:17
Okay. Okay, well, we couldn't fix for that

spk_1:   2:20
for next week's unwed statue. Yeah, yeah, details, but yeah, Let's Ah, let's get it into current events, which you got Sheena.

spk_0:   2:33
Okay. My first story. I came across from black body and I love it. So black gay disabled judge has been appointed to the Washington State Supreme Court, making it the most diverse in U. S. History. Her name is Grace Helen. I think it's whitener. I'm gonna say whitener cause it's felt like white and then any are so I'm gonna say whitener. She's originally from Trinidad, and she moved to the US for an education and is a major advocate for diversity. Now, this boss woman and in this title of article only says the black gay and disabled part. And then you add in the immigrant part and that she's a woman and a badass like what she is like, If this were to go back in time to when people were creating the American dream, this would be what the American dream look like is toe

spk_1:   3:27
have this type of representation comes through in the high court in her coming

spk_0:   3:32
in here and her main steps stances are for diversity, equity and inclusion, which I'm like, wow is very heartwarming and wonderful, and you don't hear it often to hear a judge actually say that that is the importance of it. You know, you come into a courtroom, you don't feel great with the judge. That doesn't look like you has no part of your experience. And now she has spoken out about how she wants to make the courtroom a space that you do feel comfortable, even though it's not always for the best of reasons. And she is literally like the Maya Angelou of the courtroom. And I saying because in her video that I watched about her talking about goals, that she hasn't things her voice sounds literally like. If my Angelou was from turn it Up like No, that's where it was. And it's that soothing and that wonderful as she talks. And I'm like, I just want to hear you speak and say words And she is just like my Angelou and the fact that she is dripping with equal parts knowledge and compassion, which is awesome. And so, even though we're celebrating and highlighting this amazing story, the heartbreaking thing is that her tail also reminds us how, even though she has this boss title, that she is still subject to discrimination and goes on to tell a story about how she went to answer the courtroom building and got stopped by security and wouldn't let her through and try to get her to go through all of these invasive things, and she refused and told him to call a supervisor. And she was like And of course, the supervisor recognized who I waas. My picture was hanging behind the security on the wall, and it's like, What

spk_1:   5:12
else do you have to dio? You have your face hanging on the wall and you're still gonna come in on like, Who she attacking? She's an older, black gay judge, disabled all of these things, like, Who is she? Who is she coming for? What was the point and what

spk_0:   5:26
were you Guinea? And so it just talks about how many strides need to happen like great Job Washington, for making a more inclusive courtroom. And some of the other people that they have are also a Native American and all of these different things that I quickly read over. But it's also like, yes, a 1,000,000 steps forward, but then you just have these interactions that keep us stepping back. And I'm just like, Ah, but I'm gonna pay attention her, and it's gonna get me more into politics because she is doing all of those things. So shower

spk_1:   5:57
Washington for just a commitment to diversity with that, and, um, and to her for being an inspiration. It is sometimes annoying that we still have all these firsts, but still just important and inspiring. And it's great to have somebody that does sit on that side of, Ah, that branch of government that actually has experience with diverse populations and as and bring the unique, um, living experience. I think a lot of our civil servants and everything are usually rich people that never really lived life for no struggle. So it's hard for them to connect to the commoners as ourselves. But yeah, like love, love this, love to see more of this and hopefully again, you know, there's spots up in different different states across the union hand and the world, you know, just making sure that these people are sitting in these high positions and can do their their job. Amazingly, so have a cool story. I'm gonna transition into some mess because I'm bringing the mess today. Bring them eso. My story is about Andre Leon Talley, former editor at large of Vogue, longtime friend of Anna Wintour, who is the editor of Vogue and what the movie devil Wears Prada is based off of Adre is writing a tell all book. It's a memoir that will be out in September, called The Chiffon Trenches, appropriately named, Um, but Andre lays it out. Tree leaves out his relation. Friendship within a win tour over the past couple decades. How that started in who he is, telling all some of the ways in a bad way and a bad way for her, but also in the honest way. Because it's, you know, a lot of the you know, What I read in this article, that is from the Daily Mail was a lot of obviously the passages that are messy and him being honest. But Andre, also at the end of it, kind of gets to just being her as a person because, you know, they've had this friendship for a number of years and apparently allegedly and is has kind of cut him off because he feels like he's un cool and fat and just like, you know, kind of brushed away because she has no need for him. So he really does at least kind of own up to some of the bitterness that could kind of come out and these passages, but just telling his truth. But, um, yeah, it's just super interesting. I know it's going to be. I'm going to read it because it's just gonna be about his his life and his journey as well. The first black men that was editor at large of Major magazine and his just his queer journey. But the mess is also just a big part of it, you know. Ah, a lot of some of the patches passages. I'll read this. Andre says that Anna is immune to anyone other than the powerful and famous who populate just a vogue. He wonders when she goes home at night. And this alone is she miserable. Does she feel alone before calling her ruthless? Um, and he would, he would still love. And this is the vulnerable part where I thought, like, OK, this is, you know, it's not going to just be a tell all messy book, but hey, just really wants her to say something that's human and sincere to him, because he has a huge emotional and psychological scars from his relationship with this tower tower ringing. Excuse me, words matter. An influential woman, so it's It's definitely gonna be some mess, but also just really vulnerable and open. You know, with this this man who was friends with this powerful person for all these years. So that comes out in September. Andre Leon Telly's memoir called The Chiffon Trenches. So that's my messy topic of the week and all that

spk_0:   9:57
Title it Love Andre Leon Talley and I feel like all of the people who used to watch America's next top model and the few times that he liked came on and guest starred on there. And all of that are just gonna like Flock to this.

spk_1:   10:11
Yeah, yeah, cause I mean, he's just is I mean, obviously not as big as Anna Wintour, but he always was a mystery to me. You know, I knew that this black game and, you know, fear since yeah, exactly. So I mean, he's been a figure in my life for a while, where it's just like, wow, this, you know, fabulous queer man, like, just would like to hear what he has to say And just even his journey and story, you know, he knows some mess, huh? Have lived through and been friends with a lot of people in a lot of situations. So, yeah, I'm excited for the memoir. So we'll see. It comes out in September. It's amazing. Look at his black excellence coming through. Yeah, yeah, eso The show Vita is

spk_0:   10:57
coming to an end are another one bites the dust. I'm just so sick of hearing about these awesome animation shows that highlight queer people of color, and it just could shut down after a short amount of time. So via is this amazing show that highlights the Chicken X and Latin X communities. And it's just like it's

spk_1:   11:19
like a beautiful queer love letter with a bit of mess. Wrinkle in but

spk_0:   11:23
a lot of great stuff, Um, And so if you haven't watched, Vita is a drama series about two Mexican American siblings from East L. A. And so you got a party girl. Her name is Lynn. She lives in the Bay Area, just living her best life being carefree, and she couldn't be more different or distance from her sister, with whom she has no relationship. But then a death happens in their family and forces them to move back

spk_1:   11:48
two home. I don't know if

spk_0:   11:49
they move back. I think they just, like, go home. And that's where they have to, you know, bring about all these feelings and learn a

spk_1:   11:56
lot of surprising truths about the mom.

spk_0:   11:58
And so it goes through Ah, whole list of love and intimacy and grief but like just this beautiful Latin next love story that you just see more of and they have, like masculine presenting, feminine, presenting all mix of everything. And it's just like just being in it's almost like I feel like this is reminiscent of one day at a time. Where was Lay? There's this great story and then sorry, we're gonna go. And it's more annoying that, like, I think the first season only had about six episodes in the second season hunt. And now they're like, Oh, you can finish out the season. But we're gonna give you less budget, and we're gonna take you back down to like, six episodes again. I'm

spk_1:   12:33
like, Did you ever really give them a chance? Because more of,

spk_0:   12:37
like other shows, have started with more episodes in this, and I just I'm just very sad, very sad about it. Six is a little means right. That's hella lean like that was I mean, game of Thrones. Fans. You only have, like, six episodes in that last season after your whole life. So I would think that people would understand what a lean episode looks like. Yeah. Is it

spk_1:   13:02
that I I'm gonna be honest. I haven't heard of this show, so I was gonna question the marketing for it, but yeah, I mean, anything. Not enough. Not enough enough clearly. Yeah, And it's just difficult now. It's like a great time for creators, obviously, but also one of the hardest. Because there's just so much content out, like daily and just like that pops up and that is presented. And it's interesting what, you know, different production studios or streaming platforms will promote to you. Obviously, some of it is algorithm based, but, um, yeah, like I I hadn't heard of this show until you just brought it up. Um, now it's it's leaving. So Yeah, So you go back

spk_0:   13:42
and watch they Saturday to put out there last season. So do that. And I really hope that it gets picked up by another streaming platform or another branded platform.

spk_1:   13:53
Yeah, we need a queer streaming platform to that. Just where it's like it's gonna be home to these, these great Siri's and everything So or, you know, or just some No, but they call it a syndication for some of the other series that are out, like, if oppose were to live there or some of these other. But we do need a queer streaming platform where you know where the creators and also just for the shows that we love and we'll have a home. So that's free idea for anybody out there with low. We

spk_0:   14:22
give it all of these three

spk_1:   14:23
Aguilar like consulting agency for like, you get started a little portion support in your community. In that way, that's it. That's all we're asking. We're here. If you build it, we will come. So, you know, just putting that out there, though. Ah, speaking of building things, my last story is about a great conversation between Diana Tarazi, who's in the WNBA and just say iconic, legendary women's basketball player. I wanted to video Diana Tarazi at one point. I just thought she was badass, but she was on Instagram live for more than four. Our Instagram live video session with UH, it was Diana's wife, Penny Taylor, who was also a former WNBA player and current assistant coach, and Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird on. And they had a great conversation. Amongst other things. The biggest shot that they had that I wanted to bring up is Diana, Tarazi called out Rich women investors. She has. Where are the rich women? I'm so disappointed in the women that have a lot of money, she said. Sometimes you invest in things that don't make money yet, but you want to make them better. Um, so she's just kind of talking about just the state of things. With women's soccer, women's basketball and just women's pro sports in general and just saying like, you know, we don't have to wait for men to invest in this, You know, there there are far Mawr women investors than we've ever had. Um, and just women with mounds of capitals. So why aren't they investing in women's sports? You know, we need that to just grow this forwards and popularity. It's, you know, it's not like the games aren't getting better like the w N. B. A is so enjoyable to watch. Now soccer has always been enjoyable to watch, but yeah, just calling out the rich women investors. Um and, you know, just taking the time to do that. You know where it's like you could put your money here and grow it, and it's going to mean so much in the long run. But if we can't get guys invests, then you know women have women have to step up with it. And I think it was a good point to make where we don't have to keep on relying on male capital or meal investors and money. And, you know, Diana was talking about wanting to own things when she retires. So, you know, everybody she had mentioned everybody is like, Do you want a coach? Do you want to be a GM? And she's like, No, I want a fucking own it, quote unquote. So you know it. It's a good conversation, because when I came across this article, I was like, Oh my God, Yeah, like I hadn't really thought of it that way. But it was like somebody needed to say it. And you know, somebody as iconic as Diana Tarazi telling women like, you know where where all the rich women investors is like, Yeah, where are they? So one of put this out here and just wanted, you know, to have a discussion about it. We're both big sports fans, but yeah, why don't you think women investors invest in women's sports? What do you think? She? No, I think, is the hardest

spk_0:   17:29
thing when listening to that cause I watched. I did stay for the whole four hours, but I saw, like, a solid couple hours, and it was just like it's a solid point to make, like we've had this discussion before, I think with the women's soccer team as well, where they're looking for those women investors that are here. I think that male investors just have room to just throw money in places. And they because you know men are here for the investors. And there's not as many women investors not even close to as many as male investors. And so one. I think it's like harder to find two. I think once they've gotten to the point of making that capital that they aren't like pushing it in that area, like how amazing would it be for Oprah to go and she could probably just, like, sit and throw all of her money on there. But we all know the journey that Oprah took to get to where she is and how much harder is she probably still has to work. No, you continue being even like half is relevant, but she's Oprah, and it's amazing and like we don't have a lot of women that are on that like Oprah level. But we have a ton of men who aren't casually around over level, you know, and it's just like suddenly on the side and doing these things. So I think as much as I want more women to invest in the women areas, I think what makes it hard is that then they just come in and continue to repeat the pattern where it's like, great I've invested in this. I've done these things, I'm owning it. And then when they go to try and get any sponsors or any more investors or anything else, it's like, Well, why should I than those sponsors investors like, Well, why should we trust you? And it goes back to all of the funds sexism that we have here. But I think it would Onley just take 11 person, one person who was happy to be the face that speaks out and goes out because I think that's one of the other things that, like we don't get to receive his life. They went Excuse me and did a whole tour on just speaking out about these things and what they need to do. Like Kobe was about to be on that track before his untimely passing. You know, and LeBron is stepping up Teoh attract these things, but it's like LeBron, you can. You could afford to purchase the team.

spk_1:   19:52
Yeah, you know, you could afford to do these things. I mean, it's interesting because I think that's a good point that you made their words like it's not just enough to have women investors. It has to be the right investors. Could you have a woman investor that, like completely blows these things up? Like or just like I don't know, doesn't really kind invest in the right things or have had the vision for it. But it will take one prominent investor like if you had Oprah. Yeah, Beyonce. A. If you had some of these other start you know where they could even pull their money? Teoh, You know, you have, like Serena, who is part owner of the Miami Dolphins. I can't serene elite link up with another athlete, Teoh. Now, I own some of these, um, wnbf sports teams or just whatever you know, that you know, women who are actually in, you know, sports and make a considerable amount of money could also invest. So I don't know, I think it's getting closer to that point, but maybe even and what I hope with this article and just try and are just putting this out there, it's like, Yeah, just kind of inspires other women to step up and, um, maybe look to investing in sports like That's a real thing like you can. There is a hole segment of woman who, Enman, um who will definitely support it. Um, so you know, we'll see what happens. Maybe, you know, it at least planted the seed in somebody's idea that that has the capital to do it. So we'll see what I also think

spk_0:   21:20
that one of the key things that is happening right now is all of our big voices who are helping to push this through and probably wouldn't even think twice about, like returning and investing or anything like that. They're all playing, and then everybody who is ahead of us are ahead of, like, anybody who's in our current like frame of trying to make change and trying to do all of these things. They didn't receive the capital or the payout or anything like that. For them to also be able to do this. No, like people are starting to step up. The WNBA's just made that huge deal not too long ago, but still even there, like top price for a player is like what, Captain? Like 1.2 or 1.4 million, where men's football team make stupid money like you could sit and donate like casual 500,000 wouldn't even bother you and then keep it moving. Yeah,

spk_1:   22:12
it's also, once you think about it to you like that, Kind of, uh, those salaries are easily met in like the n B A, where it's like their bench players get paid more to sit down and clap and hand out hen chicks. You know, some of our stars in and women's sports get and there's always argument about the sponsorship dollars and all this other stuff. But it's just like skill lies. They should be compensated. I know they did upgrade some things, uh, for the WNBA players, where I think at minimum, I think that they're supposed to be getting their own planes because they did have to fly commercial, which is, you know, what do you think about it? Just just sports in general, but definitely for basketball. Since they have such a compact schedule like, you know, that's that's while like they're professionals. But are they like, you know? So I just hope that it gets better in just different ways and in one of them being just more, um, female representation, investors and everything. So here's today. Let's let's hope that it gets better in that Diana again planted the seed, uh, to somebody and inspire somebody to step up or somebody's to step up. Yes. All right. Cool. All right, well, that is our queer events of the week, and we're gonna slide right into Am I a bad queer? Our advice Sick segment that ranges all topics of the queer experience experience. Scuse me. Birth today are Just who send your questions to bad queers pod at gmail dot com to be featured. Um, so the 1st 1 is from Tanner Tanner ask, Am I a bad queer? I don't have any queer friends. That's interesting. I've been out for more than five years, and I have yet to make a true friend who was also queer. So far, it's only been an issue when I want to go to a queer club or events and my straight friends aren't interested outside of that. I don't really long for a queer friendship. Does this make me a bad queer, Tanner? Oh, that's interesting question, Tanner. Um, me personally, I don't think that makes you a bad queer at all. Um, you know, be friends with who Whomever, you know, enriches your life and makes you happy. I don't think they necessarily have to check a box. Um, I don't think you're bad queer. I do think, um, you should maybe organically look into having a queer friend, if not just to go to Club and Queer Club and queer events with. But I don't think that makes you a bad queer. You should be friends with anybody who is going to steal a positive void in your life or just be a positive force in your life. And that's regardless of sexual orientation. But I think that you will find at a certain point that maybe you're not longing for one right now. But at a certain point, you probably will. What a queer friend. So I don't know. What do you think, Sheena? I just wonder like, why? Why did you have any

spk_0:   25:20
friends? Is it the area that you live in? Isn't that the queers it too much? Because we are sometimes is it like in most times you're just like, Oh, I only like to go to these queer events every once in a while. So

spk_1:   25:32
I think it would be

spk_0:   25:33
wondering, like what separates queer friendship from straight friendship would be my question like I don't see the difference, Really. Or have you had bad experiences where you continue to be friends and then date and then break up? And then that's on you again, making up stories, making up

spk_1:   25:50
my legs like no in that. But it is intentional to like, Are you intentionally like, not making queer friend like Do you think that yeah, we're extra assumed Is

spk_0:   26:00
or do you like being the sole clear friend in your stream ring room and then But every once in a while, you just want to pull somebody because I do know some people that are like that and they only like to be in straight crowds because they feel like the unique one or the special one or the highlighted one is like, Oh, I'm the queer friend of this good like

spk_1:   26:20
there's been skits. There's a piece about

spk_0:   26:22
this where it's like, Oh, you're the queer friend and then you have the other queer friend come in. It's like there can't be two of us, right? Like battle like is happening until they're like, Oh, but I wanted to do something I want to do. And then the straight friends are like, Well, no, that's not benefiting us in our friend group. So yeah, I would consider why you don't and what causes the difference and probably take a look at you and see. I mean, I'm not gonna say that you're a bad queer, but I would just say, like, reevaluate your friendships and like, why? And also tell your friends to be better allies and come to where

spk_1:   26:53
somebody that Yeah, where I was just like I am more than sure that you're going Teoh the breeder events with them Or, you know, I'm globe straight. I know you are. I know

spk_0:   27:04
you are like, where's the breeder sentence? Like a Frieder breeding ground. And, uh, that's that's what I feel like it is like it.

spk_1:   27:13
Yeah. You know, I have a feeling. Yeah, that's that's interesting to me about it, where it's just like you know, your Onley, longing for one, or you feel the you feel the void of not having a queer friend Onley When you're trying to go to a quiet place and your straight friends don't want to go, I'd be interested to know why they don't want to go like I'm sure there's a lot of breeder places you I didn't want to go to, but you're a good friend, so, like that should definitely be reciprocated. So that is another conversation, but I don't think you're bad queer. Um, I would look into organically building a queer friendship with someone because it it's always good to have queer friend so you don't know. Good luck. Dinner. Okay. Our next one comes

spk_0:   28:00
from Meg says, Am I a bad queer? I've never been to a prize celebration. Well, you're not gonna go to one. This

spk_1:   28:07
is not a party, not a

spk_0:   28:09
parade. Nothing this year will obviously be no different. As most celebrations have been cancelled due to covert 19. I'm glad you realize this is this something that makes me less of a queer or a bad one? Help. Help! Because she felt a jail help. Oh, well,

spk_1:   28:28
no, because there are some people who think

spk_0:   28:30
that pride is overwhelming. So that's true because it's it's a lot. Private is a lot. It's a marathon, not a sprint. There are lots of events. There are lots of things. Um,

spk_1:   28:41
don't feel obligated to have to go to all the parties in the parade. You may not be a party or a parade person, but be sure to check out all of the other events that they have, especially if you live in

spk_0:   28:51
a big city. Big city prides have a shoot. One of things. They have panels, they have special guests. They have smaller concerts that are more intimate. And let's going out. Yeah, like less people having to go out. They have volunteer options like there are ways that you can join and pride celebrations. And

spk_1:   29:12
maybe because this year is covert 19 and all of them removing digitally, check it out digitally

spk_0:   29:17
and see like, Is there something that's holding you back from having gone to a pride is just that you keep missing. It may be because of family vacations. I don't know your life. So I would take the time to check out a virtual pride and to see what actually interests you or if I don't know, if anybody's gonna do like a makeshift parade. But I would be very impressed if somebody can successfully accomplish this. But then you can see all of it and kind of get a feel for what pride is like. Obviously, it's gonna be different, but I think it's gonna be different moving forwards. And now it's going to this whole new experience of pride, so this could be your year and following year toe try it, but it doesn't make you a bad queer. This plenty of queers who have not gone surprise, and there are some that purposely do not go to brides because it's just it's too much for them. And that's

spk_1:   30:06
OK, Price not for everybody. Yeah, that's what I would say. Chris, what would you say? Yeah, you're not a bad queer for not going to pride. A couple episodes ago, I mentioned that pride should kind of hit a reset with everything, cause it's not as impactful as it needs to be. But, um, yeah, this year is gonna be a great year to check out a lot of digital prides and see what you are interested in and, you know, maybe even connect with people who don't, you know, like parties, Air parade, because it sounds like it's specific to certain things. And, you know, uh, the parade and the parties like the biggest part of pride a san image. And there are a lot of opportunities for a lot of different things. A lot of different events event for amounts going on. So, no, you're not a bad queer for it. Um, but I wouldn't stay away from pride. Or just, you know, I would dip my toe into the things that you would probably be interested in for pride. So just a little toted up. Well, maybe just the mail. You know, the toad, like, not the full toe, but Rose. But it's a It's a lot of the

spk_0:   31:10
inspirational. And then it got gross. I'm just

spk_1:   31:12
Well, toenail dip in in surprise tonal dip into pride this year and see, you know how you feel about it and all that. So again, it's it's it's a lot of different programming in real life. And now online. That's gonna happen. We are looking to throw a digital pride celebration here at her, so, you know Yeah, check it out, make you know it some good things in there for sure. So, uh, yeah, you're not a back. We're for it. But toenail dip into pride this year is a surprise. Stop. All right, so I'm gonna toenail dip out of this topic in Into the necks on last question of the week, which is am I about queer? I'm not out. I don't even know what I'd be out. Why do you have to give these people these voices? Why you do it just like this? Well, I Look let me back up and introduce aerial. Yeah, this may be mayor make but this may or may not be aerials voice. This may or may not be so. I'm just gonna go with this. Might be aerial Voice, so

spk_0:   32:20
Okay. Ariel asked for my co host.

spk_1:   32:23
Um, am I a pick? Were I'm not out. I don't even know what I'd be out ass. I've always been curious. And I have had an encounter with a woman, but always steered towards men simply because that's what happened. Right? How do you know for sure your orientation. Does it really need a label? Ariel, Thank you for that question, Ariel. And just even the voice that Ariel has in my head about this. Um okay, she's probably pissed. Yeah, This is not not the way she sounds, but, uh, aerial, You're not a bad where we don't have 80 back queers this week. Um, but you do need to figure out what feelings you have. I don't think you need toe label anything. I'm definitely with the jin's ease. And the kiddos with like, labels are lame, but they are also important for some and definitely in our community. You know, we're heavy label er's just so we could add a filter to what we like and don't like people. Um, but I do think you need to figure out your feelings. You know, uh, you've always been curious. You've had an encounter with a woman, but always steered towards men. How was that encounter with a woman? Like, How do you feel about it? Yeah, I kind of want to gossip on that. Yeah. Do you feel more sexually attracted to women, or do you now know, or have you confirmed in your mind that you could be in a sexual in a romantic relationship with a woman like you? Got a kind of, um, iron out your feelings with this? You don't need a label. You don't need to be out before you. Everything. L like don't let anybody out you or feel necessary that you have to come out. Just figure out your feelings like it's It's nothing. You You have to ah, again, Label immediately. And I think there is a lot of feelings figuring out that you need to do here. Ariel. What do you think, Sheena? Yeah. I think that the Children have said it just like who you like. Like don't stress about it. Don't put yourself

spk_0:   34:38
again. This is I keep mentioning, like why we created this podcast. It's like, Don't put yourself in these boxes of what your labels are. I think a lot of people get stressed out around the label on I don't know how old you are, but I I can assume that you might be a bit older, like in your thirties forties, because you are sitting in looking at a label. Yeah, but there

spk_1:   34:59
are some younger people who are still like Do I need one? And do I not? I say,

spk_0:   35:04
Okay, do what you want. You're saying that I have had an encounter with a woman. I think a lot of people in life cut in encounter with a woman, whether it's on a floppy frat room floor or just generally you and your best. You were sitting by yourselves and things just escalated. You know, people have had the encounters, and if you're always steered towards men because they're just there and available, like I get it, there just they are just there in available sometimes. But I just say, Don't even don't even I

spk_1:   35:37
think you ask the right questions is really need a label No, the joys of being a bad

spk_0:   35:41
queer. Now you don't need a label, so I would embrace your freedom and you flute your fluidity and I wouldn't limit any of your experiences. Go out there and have a good time, But don't leave people on If you're not gonna actually be interested, don't be one of those people. That's just like, Oh, I'm just here experiencing this. Like, be honest. If it's just a hookup, let them know it's just a hook up, except really use that communication. But otherwise don't feel like you need to be boxed in by a label. Do you girl

spk_1:   36:07
for sure. An area. What a time to be alive For someone who doesn't like labels because you really get away. This is this is your time right now, like you do not need a label for anything. Don't feel pressured, Teoh. And yeah, that's why we have this whole podcast on being a bag where you don't have to do anything you think you need or required to do to be Teoh. You know, check a box. So, um, figure out your feelings. Stay honest with people, as always, Just please stay honest with people. Ah, and yeah, that's pretty. It's pretty much it, you know, and you'll you'll figure it out and feel comfortable towards, you know, whatever you feel comfortable towards. So, no, you're not a bad queer. That ends our am I a bad queer segment again. Send your questions to bad queers pod at gmail dot com to be featured. And yeah, we'll tell you if you're bad queer not. Yeah. We've been

spk_0:   37:03
having some really good queers lately. We're gonna get some, even to the emails and see what else we can find. So But on to our next segment, in our ultimate favorite segment, what's a backwards would we be if we did not have unpopular bad queer opinions?

spk_1:   37:17
Chris, what is your back? We're opinion of the week. Who? Okay, uh, let me just start off by saying I'm not trying to shame anybody, King shame or sex. Shame anybody, but just gonna go out and fit. Thanks. Saying daddy during sex is weird. I just I I know this is This is very, very personal to me. Um, you know, um and I from personal experience Is there any way I No, no, no. Real story, even though every time it's been used or I do that, I just I don't know. I feel weird. It just doesn't fit. And again, this is probably just a me thing. Um, but there's my bad queer opinion, so I'm even more comfortable with Daddy and Stati, as I mentioned earlier. But, Daddy, it's like there's over. I never called my father Daddy. I said, Dad and all that. But just even just introducing de a d in any sort of sexual situation to me, it's just kind of this

spk_0:   38:23
is just, like 30 back

spk_1:   38:23
to home or what? Like what doesn't make me think of my father? Yeah,

spk_0:   38:29
in the middle of your sexual encounter? Yes,

spk_1:   38:32
because he's dad, you know. OK, so then what it is if my father is dad than my father is, Daddy. So I don't want to say Daddy turning sex, because I don't want to think of my father. Um and I can't not think of my father if I say Daddy. So you know, Zad E stati. But I just wanted to have this conversation allowed because I know this is a bad queer opinion. That's probably just I know there's a There's a small group of people that are like Now I totally get it there, absolutely continue to, you know, use it If it works for you for sure, And that Teoh into show that I'm not a centering centering on just Daddy. I think you know, if you use Mama or Mami in a sexual way too little weird, you know, um, it's just something that doesn't have to do apparent sex. I just I think it's a parent thing. Whether your dad or mom was in your life, like I don't know, I just It's really weird. That's my daddy again. I've had it said to me, I'm not the one calling anybody. Yeah, but like, what happened when

spk_0:   39:37
it was said to you This is the part of the story that I need to hear.

spk_1:   39:39
Oh, I mean, I went along with it because my performance is all that matters. Wow. What you in the back of my head? You know, I'm gonna do I pin it and bookmark it to, like, go back to afterwards,

spk_0:   39:54
be my question. Was CNN and you put a pin in it, come back and discuss

spk_1:   39:58
Absolutely. Absolutely. You got a still from the performance. Kids getting God, They gotta finish the job. Got to finish the job. Can drop off in your level of performance during that time. So no, I stuck a pin in it. That's a

spk_0:   40:11
solid advice. Part two. Where you're just like, Look,

spk_1:   40:13
you could have something. Where be said, do you just stick a pin in and finish the job? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah. And in a sexual situation, unless you're uncomfortable or it is a consent or no thing. Definitely. Speak your mind, but it was a little weird. Probably want to just stick a pin in it. Not the time to have the conversation. Make sure you, uh you worry about your performance. A zwelling pleasing that other

spk_0:   40:35
person. That's me, that performance review. And you want to make sure that Euro

spk_1:   40:38
tip Yeah, you want to just have like that as a hey, like, you know of you, we're to evaluate your performance, which no one does. But if you were to sit down and have evaluation about your your sexual performance, you just don't want it to be like, Hey, we stop this time because you said Daddy you know, you want it to be like, Oh, you know, this was great, by the way, let's maybe just dropped the daddy from the next situation. And again, this is personal to me, So right. I mean, my back were opinion, but yeah, I feel like there are some people who probably agree. Like, I don't

spk_0:   41:10
know if somebody called me Daddy during the things, but I'm also not very dominant, so I wouldn't expect that to be happening to make himself. That's a fun fact. To learn about me

spk_1:   41:20
is probably more of the diet stud thing. Like, this is probably such a diet stud thing To say I feel like this is like using Daddy

spk_0:   41:27
is like a solid, dominant type move. And if you're not that dominant type person, then this is That's where it would That's where it would fall, you

spk_1:   41:37
know? Yeah. Yeah. So Okay. I don't think

spk_0:   41:40
that's a terrible Yeah, OK, well, uh, my, uh I'm proud of you. That was a good vulnerability. Yeah, Moment of Here's what happens in the bedroom. And here's what doesn't. So now we know. But if you want to go on a social media is free and just tag Chris and say, What's up? Daddy? I will not stop you.

spk_1:   41:57
Don't break that out. Their CEO seeing it happen, this was This was a safe place. But now I don't absolutely safe place, but not safe is it was a couple seconds ago,

spk_0:   42:09
vulnerable and open. And sometimes people just take advantage of vulnerability. And sometimes you can push them towards that. It's fine. My bad queer being in it is ah, thinking to the future of when we are free from quarantine. And we have figured out how to actually be around full again. Ah, and that would be start

spk_1:   42:28
going back to like clubs. Here's the thing I

spk_0:   42:31
don't want to see when I go back to clubs is territorial studs and bitches

spk_1:   42:36
tell him Okay, I tell

spk_0:   42:38
hate seeing those people that are just so like this is and I want you to hear it till the end because it is not about your appearance. Okay? This is all about behavior. This is not about appearance. I love me a stud or a bushel basket of center person. This is not about that. This is about the behavior that tends to and Yes, I'm going to say stereotypically comes from this area, but I go in and there is just like this corner of this person who looks like super masculine. And it's just like leaning doing the saying If I'm on the East Coast, I'm imagining a toothpick in there and just living off in their corner. But you see, like this imaginary bubble of them with their squad and they're just sitting there just like looking and judging the room and figuring out which part is there toward territory in which isn't and which girl they're gonna go up and talk to and claim their attention to that person like and then when they get all, like, testy when somebody comes up and talks to a person that's in their squad but they're not dating is like

spk_1:   43:37
this is a club. You came out here to be social with other strangers,

spk_0:   43:40
like don't sit and be that person That's just makes it seem hella intimidating and unnecessary, like I don't want to be there like, No, I don't have time for you. I don't want to be a part of it, and I want that to be a change in the club culture, especially the queer club culture. Like we come out to party together and be unapologetically ourselves. I don't need you to tell me who I can and cannot talk to you. Please

spk_1:   44:01
make Wow. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up, because that is a really thing, Um, and definitely has been a part. It waas more of the East Coast thing from being honest. Uh, I've now been in California for six years, but when I did party on the East Coast and live on the East Coast, it was definitely he's Oh, my God. Where it's just like he started hearing d C. Studs New York is actually the most prolific one that I can remember where it was like, Wow, you all are gonna dance like clubs air for fun and dancing. And I go into it thinking that, and I will, um, as soon as I juiced and sauced, I will dance like a shitty it and everything, and I expect other people to do the same. So, like, I remember being in a New York club, and this is well over 10 years ago now, but, um oh, my God. The deejay was so good but was playing all the New York. It's of, like just entire all bad boy records, Didi and that something Getty, bobs and all that which you have to Did he buy when you hear, uh, you know any bad voice record or whatever? But there was just a line of just studs on the wall, not bopping at off, not even toe tapping or or Tonio tapping just sitting there and just like, you know, and who knows what, who knows? Obviously, what's good? I'm not trying to judge anybody is like, You know what goes on in their life or whatever, why they want, you know, to present this way. And you know, there's a lot of things that go behind it, but don't come to the club and the anti social or just be like, really on the defense, like clubs at least are clubs. We that should be our fun place, where it's just like it's literally a club house work we're connecting were dancing. We're having a good time. So, um, think the younger generation doesn't have that issue because things are more fluid and it's not as, ah, we definitely picked up some bad habits, I think for our generation. Then we have to unlearn. And it's just being kind of mirroring a breeder club where it is just, like, really territorial. Like you don't want Teoh either seeing like, silly or, uh, caught off guard or I don't know what the reasons are. Never understood that in the club. But don't bring that back. You all leave that at home like, literally in this quarantine. Leave that at home. Come to the club. You don't have to be happy. Go lucky or silly, but ordered dancing like a shitty it like me. But, you know, don't be territorial either. You know, just, uh, chill out. You know, show how Z you know, step stuff or meet a friend. Talk to somebody, OK, do the hitch dance. Just a little two step. That's it. They're keeping

spk_0:   46:36
that box and then just keep moving. I just Yeah, the defensiveness is definitely and that's what drives me crazy. Just like No. And I want it to disappear from club culture. Yeah, I do a series of these unpopular opinions on just like

spk_1:   46:48
I think, Yeah, there's a whole wing of just club things that we have a whole list was like, Don't do this, so yeah, yeah, Yeah, That was a good one. That's a good shot there. Good shot there. Shame. Thank you. Thank you. Well, we've reached that time

spk_0:   47:03
once again. You know, we hate to leave you, but we're not gonna leave it on a sad note. We're going to get some shout outs to our faves. And I I'm so excited about this because

spk_1:   47:14
this literally this is so timely because this happened right before

spk_0:   47:18
we started recording. And we started recording late because I made Chris play the song over her screen so that I could hear it

spk_1:   47:27
because fuckin beyond, say and second Megan Miss Alyan did I call lab H tile and I'm so excited. So since finest Houston's absolute mobile devices, Beyonce did not just come

spk_0:   47:44
on and give like a short blip like Arianna Grande aided in Liz Osan. She came on it did multiple parts. You hear her wrists

spk_1:   47:51
in the background? Mission came on and drops of what we get. We gave at least 16 cow Yes, bars? Yes, and I am

spk_0:   48:00
so happy. And look, I know this is not specifically for queers, but they're both allies, and I'm here for it. And also, you all know my love for Beyonce s. So I could not be happier. Also, because Beyonce is a charitable queen.

spk_1:   48:19
All of the proceeds for this song are getting placed to Cove in 19. It was all being donated out to the efforts to help Battle Cove in

spk_0:   48:28
19. And that's all I can say is that I stand a charitable queen. I am a proud member of Beehive and thank you both for just making my day, week, months for having this song out. I might actually learn the savage dance now and do that on TIC Tac. That could probably be our first video of me and just all of my Beyonce's here. And it

spk_1:   48:50
is thes savage remix that Beyonce jumped on today that was released today, and it is amazing. I I still maintain that Beyonce's should come out with the rap album because who could talk more shit that Israel than Beyonce? And she's a great rapper. She great rep. She's immensely. Is she released a rap album? She's tough to, and she not two. Yep. Oh, you know, whenever she's ready,

spk_0:   49:16
But she she'll tell us when we're ready. Honestly?

spk_1:   49:19
Yeah. Yeah, we're just living in her world. So whenever that queen is is ready, you know, let us know my years already. So yeah. Shout out to Beyonce and Meghan. You guys go listen to that savage remix featuring a fiance. Uh, my shadow is to Leslie Jordan. Um, I know Leslie Jordan from Will and Grace of the Will and Grace fan, but, uh, well, weeks ago during this quarantine, my wife had said, like, have you heard of Leslie Jordan before Louis? And just like wondering what was, you know, going on and why she was bringing it up, hoping it wasn't that bad news, but, um, shut out to his little career resurgence on I g. He's been, ah, posting some very entertaining and funny i d. Quarantine related videos. Ah, he's already a great in the hilarious actor, but yeah, just, you know, fucking it up on i g with these really funny videos and just opening up to a wider audience and a younger audience that may not know on from Will and Grace are just some of the other TV and movie shows that he's been on, but shutout Leslie Jordan on I g at the Leslie Jordan. Go check now in his profile and funny videos

spk_0:   50:32
Positivity to our quarantine lives. Gotta love it.

spk_1:   50:36
ISS Thank you so much for tuning in. Well, that was a another great week of ah, bad queer opinions and everything. I think we toenails. Uh oh. Right into that and out of it. I think we but our whole toenail into this episode y'all itself.

spk_0:   50:57
I am so sorry. And I'm gonna end this now before it continues and say you next week by all.

spk_1:   51:03
Take care. This podcast was brought to you by the her up the largest LGBT Q plus dating and social out for women trans and non binary folks. Be sure to download the app in the Apple store and the Google Play store.

spk_0:   51:17
Shout out to Sienna Liggins for our amazing soundtrack. Be sure to follow her on all platforms at Sienna Liggins and for say sorry for making us sound like we know what we're doing