Bad Queers

Community Strap - Episode 3

April 29, 2020 Shana & Kris Season 1 Episode 3
Bad Queers
Community Strap - Episode 3
Show Notes Transcript

We dive into lazy Ellen jokes, VA leading the South in LGBTQ+ rights, and if we need to rethink pride. Spoiler alert, we do. Also! Also! Also! Janelle Monáe makes out with a woman in the new "Homecoming" trailer.

Bad Queers is co-hosted by:
Shana Sumers: @shanahasagram
Kris Chesson: @kris.chess

Let's keep in touch:
Email us for advice at badqueerspod@gmail.com
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The opinions expressed during this podcast are conversational in nature and expressed only for comedic purposes. Not all of the facts will be correct but we attempt to be as accurate as possible. BQ Media LLC, the hosts, nor any guest host(s) hold no liability over the conversations on this podcast and by using this podcast you understand that it is solely for entertainment purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purpo...

spk_0:   0:07
This is Shanna and Chris, and we are bad queers. If you came out of the closet and got put in a box of stereotypes you don't belong to you know, you welcome to this backwards club, girl. You know, you welcome.

spk_1:   0:20
All right, so this week in clear Urban dictionary, I have the term community strap community strap. I just is defined as a Did you help? I'm not gonna let you look, Maggie. I'm gonna let you cut it like no, no. Community strap is a noun, I believe, uh, it's a stud top or masculine of center. Usually that who sleeps around too much on probably wears the same strap on dildo. Sometimes it's just to be funny to say that their community strap it doesn't always mean that they do wear the same Ah, shopper dildo. But in a sentence, she's fine, but she's totally community strap, which means that she is for the streets. Say no. What is your career? Urban dictionary term of this week of soaps. It way Can't talk about

spk_0:   1:20
it. No, no. Uh, my career prediction Air for the week is baby queer, also known as baby dyke baby gay along the different identity and variations, etcetera. A newly out or young queer person used in a sentence. My younger cousin just came out to our family. I'm so proud of our new baby Queer.

spk_1:   1:42
Raise him right real right We've all been there before We've all been fresh

spk_0:   1:47
Staring into the Starlight of the first time we went Teoh a gay club. The first time we saw ah hot person walk down the street. That was of the same sex or whatever sex you're interested in that came through just all of those stars shining moments that these baby careers get to experience. I'm here and happy for you

spk_1:   2:09
Oh, baby, baby clears You know, we're all we were all baby queers at some point So that is something that touches the entire community as we grow up to be Just nor me Were these full grown is thriving, thriving reporters grown appear queen s or something. Yes,

spk_0:   2:27
we're like adult with responsibility. Queers like melting Queer. Yes, but typically I asked, you know, if we learned something new this week and I know that you knew my term but I did not know your term. Hey, I in Florida I am floored. And I know that some people took that personally. And if you did, you know what she did. I don't know

spk_1:   2:50
if you know who you are. You know who you are. Also, like, it's not only just like you know what you did. You know what you are. You know, you've been out there and there's nothing wrong with it. It's just, you know, a little fun term for a little community toe, you know, pass around. Hopefully safely. But yeah, if you're community shop, you just are. If that hits you, you probably have been accused either in person or behind your back, um, as community shop. And that's fine. Just be safe out there. Be be honest and safe, so

spk_0:   3:21
and please clean your stuff like, Oh, my God.

spk_1:   3:24
Also, Yeah. Please make sure you're doing that. Please, Please, please. Now, community shot doesn't mean you have to be dirty with it, for sure. And I hope no one is. But it's just kind of the Ah, yeah. You out there here for the streets here for the streets? Yeah.

spk_0:   3:40
All right. It's time to hear about the stories we don't get to hear It's queer news time. I'm going to start this off again with, you know, last time. We've talked about all of these issues where people are bringing a lot of anti LGBT Q plus rhetoric to their governments Will this week I have a flip side at a positive for Chris Euthanize home state of Good Old Virginia. The Virginia governor signs the first LGBT que inclusive civil rights lot in the South. Honestly, that governor is winning right now because he also just signed into law like the most inclusive voting changes that Virginia has in terms of like voter ID's and accessibility and all those other things. But that's a whole other discussion. But right now, Virginia Governor is winning. So what does this mean right now? This means that the act prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity and all sectors so housing, public private employment, public accommodations, access to money. We're not going to stop you based off your identity, which is the most ridiculous thing that we have to put this into effect. But people don't like to let us have our rights and let us live like we're trying to give back to the economy. We're trying to be a part of the world. Let us do it. And he is waiting with no time because this takes effect in July like the first of July. And so, from a duet quote from him, Hay said, We are building an inclusive commonwealth where there is opportunity for everyone and everyone is treated fairly. No longer will LGBT Virginians have to fear being fired, evicted or denied service in public places because of who they are. You know, it snaps for you. Gove snaps that for you. And apparently this was something that had been working since our they had been working on since February. And there were different pieces that they weren't able to, you know, work through and agree on. But to have that sort of turnaround where it's like, Hey, in February, you were having discussions and disagreements, and now it's April and you're like, Oh, yeah, it'll be out July 1st, like amazing. Can the rest of the world please hop on this follow suit, take into consideration and actually provide pieces of legislation that keep us safe in our day to day places? Because the whole part of accessibility for people, especially for the LGBT. He plus community is so important right now. And so many who are finding, you know, those underlying written terms, excuses from the Constitution, all of that. And when Idaho just want hot and did all of this foolishness and now Virginia comes back in is like, you know where this other state that's about to leave the charges like, yes, Home state. So you

spk_1:   6:17
It just also highlights the fact that I think a lot of us thought after marriage equality passed like that was the end of the work. But there's still so much to do. So Virginia is stepping up for being the first day in the South. Highly commendable. My only thing has a Southerner and as a person of color. And all that is like, What's this backlash gonna be? Could you know it's I told you, the fear machine is going to start back up. Don't come in here with this negativity. This is a positive story. This is real life. This is real life. There is no progress without somebody, you know, making something up, you know, to counteracted and get people scared. Hopefully Virginia's pretty blue now, so they have some common sense folks in there for the most part s. So it should be fine. Where were actually probably We probably are the most progressive Southern state, obviously given the other Southern states, so hopefully it will stay in place. And there there is enough tolerant people there. But you know, again, I always caution that it's definitely not over, and it's hopefully a model for other states in the South and beyond. We'll see what happens. We'll see what happens with that. But good, good for the Commonwealth way. See them step up and all that. So my story this week is, Ah, how our beloved Ellen icon, living icon and legend, You know, I'm I'm starting off with compliments because in a good story, eso living legend Ellen De Generous was slammed last week for comparing her mansion to being in jail. Are being quarantine in her mansion to being in jail. Now Ellen is a comedian first and foremost is where she made her bones and everything. And I am all for comedians, uh, having the space and the ability to make jokes and everything. This one was just It wasn't even that funny of a joke. It wasn't that funny, but this joke was as she was going, uh, live from her home eyes. One thing I've learned from being in quarantine is that this is like being in jail. Mostly because I'm where I've been wearing the same clothes for 10 days, and everyone here is gay. Okay, Yeah. I mean, we got where she was. Swing with that. It is low hanging fruit. However, Ellen is not just a comedian anymore, and she knows that she's a daytime talk show host, not even the night time. You know, talk show host. And it's just it's a ill time joke. I mean, again, it's nothing too, you know, get the pitchforks out. And, you know, uh, round up the mob, but it is just like, I don't know your comedian. You're smarter than that, and you're you're you're a smarter comedian than that. So there's too many people as you, as some people know and some people don't know, there's a lot of a lot of prisoners right now that you know are in jail for nonviolent crimes or just crimes that otherwise they probably wouldn't be in jail for it. Maybe they have less melon and they're dying because of this Corona virus. We could barely protect people outside of the jails. And we all know that, you know, sympathy wise, we're gonna give prisoners, probably the last of our empathy for some of them. Totally agree with it. But there is just too many jails. There's more jail beds than hospital beds in America, and there's too many people that will die from this. And it's on Lee because there's not adequate protection. Jails are dirty anyway, is highly communal. So I was disappointed that she made that joke. Half of the fact is like it was a lazy joke, and it was it was just in poor taste, like people are gonna die from this in jail that do not deserve to die and effectively have a death sentence because of, you know, a crime that they committed. And, you know, it just wasn't a jail joke she should have reached for in this time. And I would hope that she's smarter than that going forward like it could have been a way better joke that could have been a gay, you know, joke like the jail thing isn't funny. But, you know, I'm sure there's people within her audience that think it's funny and people were just being a little too sensitive to that. But yeah, not during this time. This is unprecedented. I don't think that again. It was a very good joke anyway, So, yeah, l and do better Ellen do do definitely do better with that. So that's just how I feel about that joke and wanted to bring the story of Shane. I know you probably don't have as many feelings about this, but ah, yeah, that that is my story for the week that I did want to bring up.

spk_0:   11:01
No, you know, there are thoughts, their feelings, their feelings about this. But at the same time, I've been on Ellen twice, and she has given me a wonderful, wonderful, tangible things, as well as an unforgettable trip to Mexico for five day. If I have not 68 65 night, whichever that order is and free. So you know, I got the hug. Jennifer Hudson. Because of her, I have free under you know, there are a lot of things where it's like Ellen Perks. I think you can definitely do better. I think you'll hear the repercussions. But I'll see you on your show next time, girl. Right next to my story. Yes, Yes. This is a piece of news that I am very excited about and also gives me another new thing to watch. Why? We're on this quarantine. Jnl Monet stars in the Amazon Prime Show Homecoming. Now, this show was not on my radar whatsoever. But

spk_1:   12:04
then you make it with title. I haven't seen homecoming. Okay, but now I'm going to and it is on my watch list, and I do not need the judgment

spk_0:   12:10
that is here. Okay, I'm admitting it. I'm stating it bad queer. Sheena, we're going on quietly. Judge. Hey, you! That was openly judging. There's no quiet.

spk_1:   12:17
I'm letting you know that the quiet judgment starts. Now, that's that. That's gonna be quiet. It's just But I do want to let you know when it starts. Like

spk_0:   12:24
it doesn't feel starting out right now.

spk_1:   12:26
Starting now. No, it's starting now.

spk_0:   12:28
Ok, well, all right. All right. So this got on my radar because one, you have the open title, which was the opening of Beyonce's Bay Shelagh Performance Homecoming and Jenelle opens in

spk_1:   12:42
it. And in the trailer she's making out with a woman in

spk_0:   12:46
its brief, and it's quick, and if you blink, you miss it. But

spk_1:   12:48
all of these things

spk_0:   12:50
are the checklist for a new show that I will be watching. So if you need a recap like I Needed a recap and you want to deal with the silent judgment that Chris is giving right now, this show is based on the hit podcast, also called Homecoming Season One was set in a transition facility where soldiers were returning for more, but they I got some stuff put in them all of this false reality, all of these things. So it's basically like it's a mix of a thriller meets mystery meats, Black Mirror. Chris, can you say That's correct?

spk_1:   13:17
Yeah, it's really good. Julie Roberts is the lead in it, but yeah, it's just a strange facility and just sinister things going on in season one that Julia Roberts is definitely aware of. But, uh, yeah, it's a really good show. Jenelle is gonna obviously be a great addition to the show.

spk_0:   13:36
Yep, And the trailer, just like it seems like a whole new story is starting because the trailer just leaves so much to the imagination. And that is just gonna be like this crazy ass mind fuck that's gonna come through because it literally shows a scene of her just waking up in a boat in the middle of the water, not knowing where she is, where it escalates to her kissing this woman and sitting in this facility. I'm just like, what is about to happen, but I don't really care about anything else is gonna happen because I just need to get to the scene where she kisses the woman and we could just end the discussion right there. So if you're like me and you haven't seen this show but are very excited based off of that information the good thing is that it does not premier until the end of May. So you have time to binge watch the last season and listen to the podcast. Because what else are you doing? We're stuck at home. We're not doing anything else. So take the time. Watch the show. You let me know how you feel about it, and that's where we're going to do it. I'm very excited to start watching

spk_1:   14:32
ice. Yeah, you'll like it. It is a good show. And again, like adding John L Mone aide Teoh any just is gonna improve it immensely. But it is a very, very good show. Good thriller. Ah, well written. So you'll like it, you know, catching up on season one. It'll go. Brought. It definitely was one that I binned because it was just like, OK, this is good. And I like Julia Roberts. Um, so anything with Julia Roberts on down? Yeah. Apparently she

spk_0:   14:55
showed up on set when Jenelle was recording and was just so excited and, you know, was super excited. I'm just like, guess, girl power women supporting women, doing things, pushing us forward. Yes. That's what I'm here for.

spk_1:   15:09
Always great to see. Always great to see. So we're gonna transition now? Um, policy. Did you have anything else within the stories? That's

spk_0:   15:19
that was my stories. Because what else would you want to end with after talking about, you know, Monet kissing a woman in a new show?

spk_1:   15:26
Just that you have homework for homecoming? Um, so am I. A bad queer is an advice segment that ranges in all topics for the queer experience. Send your questions to bad Queers pod at gmail dot com to be featured. So the first question is from anonymous, and I'm gonna call anonymous. Stevie, Stevie Ask, Am I bad queer? I recently got out of my first long term relationship with a woman. After I came out, my biggest fear was getting back into the dating scene where I can just be me and not be worried about others. Thoughts. There seems to be so many labels and so much drama. My last relationship didn't end because of drama, but life circumstances. Am I a bad queer? Because I believe there aren't any more chill people where being queer is not the thing that defines them. Or is this just a sign that I'll be single forever? Stevie, Stevie, you're not. You're not a bad clear, but you're not a very patient queer like you just got out of a relationship. You probably met a handful of people if that and you're like, wow, like this is what's out there and I know that's that's something that Tim's happen, and I'm speaking as a person who is married, but I'm I see that happen a lot when people get out of, um, long relationships. Where there you're still holding onto the baggage of and some of the rows of your past relationship, which you definitely should have. But you're kind of putting that on this new dating scene and being pessimistic because you probably haven't met that many people. Yet. There are a lot of queer people that that's not thing that defines them and know you won't be single forever. All you need is one person. You just have to keep looking or take a break. And and, you know, may. I don't know if you're a person who jumps from relationship to relationship, take some time to figure out what what you currently need. That has probably changed over time, which you don't want that were deal breakers in the relationship. Even if there wasn't drama, there were things probably about yourself, how you conduct yourself. That could be better because we'll all be better. But yeah, you're just not being very patient. You're not a bad queer, but you're certainly not patient. So that's kind of how I see it, Steve. And there's even there's even that

spk_0:   17:48
whole life. We follow on that talk from last week where we talked about the LGBT Q I A B C D E f G alphabet. And it's like, yes, labels are growing people's identities, their growing. I don't think labels equate to drama. So I don't know which part you're actually upset with because you mentioned that, like your last relationship didn't end because of the drama. So we haven't gotten back into the dating See yet. Are you just assuming that there is a ton of drama or are you stressed about labels like I don't even know kind of where you're relating right now, you know? So I I feel like you could be a bad queer for not being open to these different experiences. But it's like take the time to go out and talk to people and see what it is. I mean, it's an empowering act right now to be so unapologetically queer, and I know like the Gen. Z Group is coming up, and they're just like should on labels. I'm just me, which is incredible, and I hope that we can get to that point. But I think because there are so many spaces where, you know, we just talked about the Virginia governor signing writes into law for LGBT Q Plus individuals who live in the state of Virginia, and it's like there's still so much progress to be made. So just toe, you know, go back to you in your dating life, I would say, would be a bad queer if you were just going in and assuming that all of this is still happening, because then I think you will just be single forever If you're just coming in and being like, Here's the drama or here's this person with these label and things like that, like I think you're If you go in to talk and get to know the person, then you should be good to go.

spk_1:   19:22
Yeah, in a funny way, I'm like, How dare you your relation between labels and drama? You, you There's no way you've done enough dating since that last relationship to, like, make that generalization

spk_0:   19:36
very efficient. I'll be

spk_1:   19:38
unless you are super efficient. Maybe, you know, I might be talking out of ass, but like it's just if you were that efficient and you've just had high volumes of dates, And this is statistically what keeps coming up. Absolutely. But ah, no, You just got back into the dating game. And, you know, if you don't like that where you think that that is associated with drama than you know, obviously do you is your feelings. Yeah, this seems very, very much like a generalization. And I just that you should continue to date and see what's out there, because there's definitely enough of us that do not make that the defining trait of our lives. So good luck, Stevie. I'm sure if you continue to date, you will meet just what you just need one. Unless you know that that's not your thing. But all you need is one person. Um, so just keep keep at it. Good

spk_0:   20:26
luck, Stevie. All right, our next. Am I? A bad queer. Comes from a J A J s. Am I a bad queer eye came out right before going into quarantine. Want Mom? Yeah, that's actually I feel for you a j. I'm sorry. I know a Z said and I'm already in an introvert. Wow. A J. Says and I'm already an introvert. So now coming into dating in a whole new dating space. I am more anxious than I've ever been. Am I a bad queer for not knowing how to date in the space? What can I do? In the meantime, who? The timing A. J is impeccable, but I think this can also give you a bit of an advantage to when we're allowed to go back in person.

spk_1:   21:04
This gives you the time

spk_0:   21:05
to actually sit and do research. And if you're an introvert, this can be the best time to actually talk to people in a way where you are still comfortable in your own home, you can put yourself out there in the way that you want to. You don't have to feel pressured to answer or message immediately the joys of texting. And there's so much media and so many YouTubers and influencers that you can go and check out all of these parties and events and things like that that have been rescheduled or postponed and see what see what queer life is like. Hop on enjoying those threads. You know there's different communities inside APS that you can talk to. You can hop on those reddit friends. You can join Facebook groups. This is where you can actually, It's like you can take the time to start researching what LGBTQ plus life is like starting to gain knowledge, starting to see where in your area there are queer spaces so that you can make a list and be like, Yeah, I want to go see these places and get your friends ready to go with you. Don't take this as a moment to be stressed out about the fact that you might I'm assuming the anxiety is coming from feeling like you're gonna be lonely forever and you're starting in this new dating space. So take this as almost like a blessing in disguise, where you get to go and sit in talked to a few people who fit different ranges and different identities and see if they fit for you or not. Then you're basically kind of wipe out a bunch of time that you would spend anxiously waiting in person to talk with these people and not be able to escape were online. You technically can just hit a nice little block button if you don't want to talk to them

spk_1:   22:37
to keep it going. So I would say take the time to just educate yourself. Learn talked to people,

spk_0:   22:42
join some threads. Don't feel like you have to go out. 100. But this is I think this is a great time for you, especially as an introvert.

spk_1:   22:50
Yeah, it's wonderful time to a kind of practice and just really, actually research. And, um, and talk to a lot of different folks that you probably wouldn't have normally talk. Teoh, Uh, during this time, I mean, yeah, that it's a unique advantage for being introvert right now. Like you wears the pressure like you don't have to see anybody comparison for a while. Most of us will understand even after after we're able to go outside. You know, some people are gonna be apprehensive about it. So, you know, this is kind of the time to build friendships platonic, impossibly romantic and really kind of Observe it. You know, if if the anxiety is from feeling like you should already be somewhere or have some knowledge going into this, that that's all in your head, uh, there's nothing but time to spend kind of figuring things out and figuring out what you do and don't like and yeah, and just chatting with folks in a different in a lot of different ways online from the comfort of your home. You only need to really be dressed from top up, depending on what you're doing on those calls. So you just really have time to kind of figure it out. It's probably the best time to be introvert and just, um, start dating. Of course, the timing of coming out maybe not the best. But, you know, it's not the best time for a lot of people right now, so you just gonna have to take it for what it is. And again, it's a lot of opportunity to get good at dating or feel confident. And dating is maybe where the anxieties from before before you actually get out there. So, yeah, A J this is this is great time. Take

spk_0:   24:29
advantage of it. I feel like it, right, right, cause I mean, I'm an extrovert, but I would think that this would be like an introvert stream.

spk_1:   24:37
Exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, take advantage of it. There's, you know, see what's going on in your area. Get on the her her app and see who's around. Start shadowing with people on everything. You know, we have the filters for preference, so, yeah, have at how to have a ball that will do it. Our last question is from Shannon. Ah, Shannon says, Am I a bad queer? If I am sick of my partner after only five days in quarantine together, we both have very specific working habits, but her is a way of more annoying. I just want to have the time to do my thing and then be excited to come back to her later. Now that we're together all the time, it seems like both of us are just in a state of annoyance. He's help. Shannon Shannon. Great question. Timely question. One that is felt across our community and the and the breeder community. I'm sure one thing I want to stress is that no one wants to be in this position right now. No one wants to stay home. You just have to adapt to what it is. I think your partner may may very well have annoying abbots, but I would be cognizant of your habits and also your Asians and empathy for you. Both were in the same place right now. It just is what it is like you can you're gonna have to deal with some of the habits. The other ones that are the most annoying. Definitely bring it up. But, um, you know, any time these things come up, I'm like, maybe you're annoying to you're not able to see it. So, uh, maybe your partner hasn't setting the or your partner may send ah, message to us, like, two weeks from now. Um, but just I say all this to say, be very empathetic and, um, flexible to just working amongst each other. I think it would be great. Teoh, make sure that you do. You both carve out time for non work time together and hanging out and being in separate rooms if you're able to so that, you know, um, a little bit of the absence makes your heart grow fonder. But, you know, Shannon, we cannot go outside. So you're just gonna have to deal with these things most. Some of these things, Um, again, the top annoyances. Absolutely. Bring it up. Maybe work out something with your partner. It's not bad that you feel annoyed. You're not a bad queer for that. You're only human, but, um, yeah, I don't let it fester. Just don't let it fester. Just talk to your your partner about it. And maybe all could agree on a different arrangement. That's less annoying. But, I mean, we're just inside, so we just have to deal with this new normal. Uh, what do you think? China?

spk_0:   27:22
Yeah, he's definitely a new space for us to all be in. And I was that was gonna be the one argument I point out was, how do you know you're not the one

spk_1:   27:30
Your partner very well has a group text going on right now about how you are working their very last nerve, like you know, So right, so it's basically,

spk_0:   27:42
you know, your your freshen it. We might have gotten this email a few weeks later, but if hopefully you figured out strategies, but if you're still fresh in it, I know some states and countries have only just started. You have tow, basically develop a new routine. You know where else you're gonna sit in this constant state of annoyance? So figure out spaces that you can work so that you can be excited to kind of like, see each other for lunch or see each other for dinner. Do something after your day that allows you to fully just, like, get away. I know a lot of places. They're still allowing you to go outside and work out and do those things. Make that something that you both do at the end of your day. Go for a walk after lunch time, go for a walk, do something together, and that can make you a bit more excited. You know, let each other know what your schedules look like so that maybe you can know what's to expect at the end of the day. Do you think that your partner will be a bit more stressed at the end of the day, or feel like doing a fun activity together? Playing in game filled out your schedules communicate. It's at this point where we're just gonna have to over communicate. I'm with my partner in a studio, so it's like we have to establish spaces to be, and it's like, Oh, gosh, I literally cannot get away from her But we are figuring it out and making sure that it works for both of us. And so you just have to Ah, definitely communicate. Definitely figure out your schedules. If you have spaces to work, make sure that you kind of claim each of your space. And it's like this is your office. This is my office and create that calendar. But also just make sure that you turn off the workday at the end of the day, just like you would if you were coming from your office back home. Treated like that. Turn everything off. Silence all of the messages and notifications if you can. And you're not an essential employees and spend that time together so that you can just, like, reconnect on the level where it's you two in your space because you can't escape each other. So if you're a space becomes your workplace, where both of you are just constantly annoyed, you're never gonna be able to relax at the end of the day.

spk_1:   29:37
Yeah, I mean, it's just yeah, just more empathy, more understanding over communicate all those things, all those things we should be doing. And now we're kind of forced to do because it's just like the alternative is like you could continue to fester and be mad and I'll break up. Um wow, you were dropping. You're dropping this alternative Go. You know, it's like if you are able to type this up and write it to us, you should be able to say, That's your partner. Like, you know, it's again. It's not fair that you're going to continue to get more mad and annoyed because you're not saying anything where your partner doesn't, he may not even know that this is all going on. So say something to your partner, Shannon. Don't Don't let that fester So I'm sure you all will be fine. Don't let it fester. Don't. It's OK. Your

spk_0:   30:23
1st 5 days in Just wait until your past 30 and 40 days like we've been. So because goddess you got this,

spk_1:   30:30
you'll be alright. Be alright. Hopefully and actually

spk_0:   30:36
that was positive enough today. All right.

spk_1:   30:38
Hopefully all right. Sometimes with this say they're you know, somebody could bring in, like, other unresolved issues to where is just like service. You know, the professional stuff is annoying, but like it's really probably something else for like a month or two back. Maybe unresolved Such is over communicate like Sheena set.

spk_0:   30:59
Yes, I support that. Thank you so much for sending in your advice segments for am I a bad queer again? If you would like to be featured, please send in your questions. Too bad. Clears pod at gmail dot com Now for a next segment. What type of backwards will be be if we didn't have unpopular queer opinions? This is the segment that inspired bad queers, and we're going to talk about them right now. So, Chris, what do you have this week?

spk_1:   31:24
So, um, crisis and apocalypse aside, I guess we all kind of feel now that, you know, physical pride is definitely gonna be cancelled. Ah, in June and in July of Ah, this this Ah, this year doesn't look very good to be in person for pride, But my back where opinion is like this maybe what pride needs to just kind of revamp and rethink pride. We hit a very great for us as a community, obviously in you know, last year, being ah, world pride in the 50th anniversary. It was amazing for us to get to that point. But it was also about the little nasty Teoh. A lot of us as far as like the corporate. Ah, attention in and products made where it was kind of empty. It's not like a lot of these products were going Teoh, um, queer charities or just for our community. It was just like they're attaching to it. Not to mention the last couple prides. Big, big, big, big breeder draw at this point. Ah, the secret has gotten out that we are the best partiers. So, um, our ally breeders, most of them are allies. I'm not gonna make it sound like they just come in and just overtaken and it's been there, but there are a lot of them. It's not the same Friday they used to be. So I really feel that this whole cove in 19 situation eyes probably the best for pride because we could just kind of take advantage of this time to rethink, like, what is pride mean? Um, still barring from the past and honoring our past and how far we've come. But, you know, we gotta we do need to be more inclusive. We do need to make sure that we're pride is valuable. And it's not just parties, um, and that the community is coming together. Um and yeah, I really just think that maybe this is a blessing in disguise and that ride and come out stronger next year with with programming that serves everybody. And it is more inclusive and more intentional about, like, kind of growing up, like pride could grow up fried could grow up basically. So whether that is, like, better venues, um, better partnerships with ally groups to just kind of elevate pride from just being, in my opinion, you know, just like I feel like we're kind of in the same place as when it started. They're definitely more sophisticated events, but it is still highly fragmented. It is not the most inclusive thing. Um, as a person of color, I do have the chance to go to two different brides. And while we do need that separate space as a person of color, you know, I would love for the main prize to be more inclusive, not only to me, but just other minorities within our community. So, yeah, we we need to think about pride in a different way. And, you know, I definitely don't have all the answers with it, but, you know, I think it could be a conversation that we have bringing in different generations and demographics from within our queer community. So that's my bad queers opinion. Um, I just think, yeah, proud Could grub Pride could definitely seem for

spk_0:   34:38
that. Pride can crow up because, yeah, everything you've pointed out spot on. Like I think initially when you told me about this opinion, I was like, What

spk_1:   34:47
do you mean? This is a space for people to come out

spk_0:   34:49
and do whatever and do it up. But this past year was my first year that I had to physically fight my way into a pride and shame, and that's it was against other queer people. Invest. That's the unfortunate part. It's like, Why did I have to physically fight my way in to getting into a pride like one of my friends had to help pull one of the gates off of a girl who was trying to crawl under and the other people who were like corporations? In this? We're taking over pride, and we're like there's a 1,000,000 other ways that I feel that you could have gotten this message across, but instead it resorted into physical violence, and it's like when it's queers against queer violence. That's when we 100% have an issue. I think corporations need to do a better job of learning about the history of pride and how they want Teoh. Participate and engage and do all these things rather than just like T shirts and parades stuff. It's like, What else are you doing to give back? I think it needs to become more accessible every year. There are post from people with physical and invisible disabilities that talk about all of the options and opportunities that pride, parades and festivals and things can do to help make the experience much more accessible for the whole community. And I have not seen one pride really take that on seriously or at least consistently and being able to lean into again. As you said, like yes, like there's, you know, let UK black pride and things like that that are there for PCs. But you know, you go to the general pride event. It's like unless you show up with your squad. It's like we're Sprinkle in a crowd of that, and it's like there's so many different identities to highlight and do and a lot of the times. It does just become like a huge gay boy party, and it's like we shouldn't have to separate all of these events where there are some that it's like, amazing to highlight and do these things. I think this is a great time for organizations to revamp and reorganize as much as they can, because I know a lot of this is your livelihood and your job, and I hope that you are able to get the resource is that you need to be able to stay on to work in some next year. But if this doesn't become a productive period for prize, we're just gonna continue to see the same things moving forward. And I think this is a chance for redemption of pride time. So that's where wraps. Yeah, thank you.

spk_1:   37:14
You know, what is your bad queer opinion? Well, mine is

spk_0:   37:18
not a deep, but it's still effect that Shane from the L Word is not cute. That's just is important. It's just it's just big fax. It's periods. It is all of I don't understand. Look, I will give Shane all the game. Shane has game could walk. The talk had a swag have that confidence and I appreciate that. And I think that's what fit the things. Whenever people are like, Oh, I can't find enough with somebody from my personality. I'm like they want to change. Do the whole whole time that the L word was created. That's what shamed it. Big energy, toxic outside where I mean wasn't gonna get there, But it's a fact. And that's what it was. I was

spk_1:   37:56
like, Shane is not cute. The things that happened or not cute,

spk_0:   37:59
the destructive behaviors that are cute. Okay, the loyalty to friendships. Cute. I love that. But otherwise I'm like, Shane, you're not. And then I was hoping for redemption in the new l word generation que when Shane came back and then I just looked It was like still,

spk_1:   38:16
and you got her because you still got the energy like God damn! And you're sitting here trying to run

spk_0:   38:21
away from her, having a baby in the character like what's No. I would. She She showed up in my door and was like, Oh, look and I'm pregnant. I would be like right. It doesn't make that exception like we're gonna be together forever. great. Fantastic. What if we have a child? We name it. What do we name it? That's what I need to know. So it's like, No, I just can't. And every time people I see this on l word threads, I see them on Elwood posted. Everybody's just like Oh my God, Shane, After all of these years still all of the people and I'm just like, let it go, Please let it go. Please keep it moving. There were so many other hotter characters. Why shame the end

spk_1:   38:59
of know what bone we enable Shame. I'm I'm gonna play dat ALS Devil's advocate Shane doesn't have to grow up because Shane's big strap energy has always worked. It will always work. It will always she will always swipe. There will always be approved. Shane is able to move in her toxic ways because she will be accepted for her toxics. You know, it's like in that like Shane literally doesn't have to grow up. Ever know, ever, because someone will accept Shane for being shame and it's not cute. I don't know how Shane still gets away with it because, like in real life, shame would be like what that 40 year old that's for like, 20 years running the same party. The same party at the same party still has that throwback haircut, like just the same brooding all that. But I mean, it worked like Shane is like, Why I am not leaving this winning system and I can't blame shame for being like, statistically data wise, this is works. This is like, that was the strategy

spk_0:   40:16
that you find and people in the company are like, Why would we change? Exactly? So why would I need to improve? Because it's working.

spk_1:   40:25
You wanna be a young baby queer? Shame that has. But who? You said it, who wipe Shane out

spk_0:   40:36
it

spk_1:   40:37
like same swag with it with empathy. Oh, my God. Communication skills.

spk_0:   40:43
What? It was like. Same energy but compassion.

spk_1:   40:46
Oh, man, land. Great listening. Steals active listening, Frank. These are the same leaves. What? This is what

spk_0:   40:54
energy. I want us to bring the rest of 2020 like Look, 2020 has already been a shit storm. I'm like, Let's go out with Shane Energy, but actually not even but Shane Energy and some healthy sort of relationship style. Whether sick communication skills the active listening, the compassion because we already know that if you're coming in with that energy, you're already good at the talk. You're already good at the sex. Now, listen you some of those healthy skills in our relationships and do that. There's so many online therapy resource is and talks and things that I think we could do it. And I want to start with all of you community straps out there. That's what I need you to do. That's what I'm doing.

spk_1:   41:34
Jane is definitely Shane is godfather. Community strap changes for the streets. That's definitely definitely for the streets. Like Shane is for sure for this week. Ballpark over under 100 broken hearts by Shane. How many? But we should I kind of, like, wanna know, Like, how many broken hearts you think Shane has dealt out?

spk_0:   41:56
Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna put this on a little time question, Social media tips. We're gonna happen.

spk_1:   42:01
We want to know, like, you know, ballpark and just fictional

spk_0:   42:05
going over its I'm going over.

spk_1:   42:08
One other thing about Shane. That's funny to mention. I feel like Shane is the future of the Queer World. Have you seen those like future means where, like, future the rapper, if no one knows is like texting and every every time, like somebody read, doesn't mean or edits it. So that future is like sending that toxic text like no, for example, no picture of future texting. And then it will be like, Yes, it's sad that we're stuck inside a really miss your mom. She was always the greatest. Just that that toxic pay stranger text, you know, like, hey, wish I was inside with you right now. You always try to make me stay home. And now we all got to stay home. You know, like that kind of toxic like Shane is future Shane is future, the rapper just toxic to the core. That is their brand 19. A great friend. We gotta just have to switch that mean, I testify if we could find a picture of Shane on a phone, we have to like, I can only amend. We're gonna find me texting. There's gonna what would shame be texting during this? Hey, so I can't be around you, right? I look, listen, I can't even think of the possibilities of what Shane would be texting what toxic text Shame would be texting right now. In the name of this, I'm gonna take this on the Internet. Sending them off has to be. That's what's gonna happen. Cannot imagine. But that was a good backwards opinion because someone needed to caution. Now, at some point, thank you. Definitely needed to

spk_0:   43:45
look, It's the top. It's gonna come up again and again and again. So ready? Yeah. You ready? All right, everybody, before we close out, You know what we do? We shout outs. Who are queer faves. I'm gonna go ahead and start. Is that all right? Yeah. Good. Perfect. Well, I'm gonna start off with Roxane Gay. Uh bless. Bless you, Roxanne. For all of the content that you have been posting during this quarantine

spk_1:   44:12
to the points that she posted so much

spk_0:   44:15
gold that even Obama retweeted her also Obama, we miss you and Michelle and everybody else in the house. I'm sorry. So all of it is absolute gold. Roxanne Girl, please keep doing what you're doing. We love you. We support you, your quality all around. And I just want to shout you out for always giving us the gems

spk_1:   44:37
wreck. Then Gay is a living legend as well. Um, literally. Literally, though my shout outs are too queer sex therapists. The first is Casey Turner, who you could find on I g at Queer sex therapy, great relationship and sex therapists. We used her for our online events. Um, and also I heart Erica, who is also sex educator and is at I heart h a r t Erica on i g. I want to shut out the were sex therapist that are out there and just all their fists out that are out there that are giving out the good word to get us through this hard time. Um, and over technology, Yeah, that to that to

spk_0:   45:23
make sure that we're stay safe, staying saying. But also both of them between Erica and Casey are giving us the education that we never received at all. And it's like, Thank you. Thank you for telling us these things. Thank you for saying this stuff that people are like, Oh my gosh, that's too conspicuous, right? And it's actual. And people shouldn't know this, and it's like, Well, then, how else are we gonna know it? Except for going out and making bad decisions, and they're helping us be informed about decisions that we're thinking about. So go you both

spk_1:   45:52
the rial sex therapy that we all need our sex education really, That we all needed, but probably didn't get so shot out to them and shout out to all the therapists out there. Um, that air helping a stirring this time. Yeah.

spk_0:   46:08
We appreciate you. We love you. We also love everyone who tuned in tow. Listen, thank you so much, and we will see you next week.